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December 26, 2011 by Dan Staifer
There is an old adage that familiarity breeds contempt. Usually this is quoted after a couple who has been married for many seemingly happy years suddenly up and gets a divorce. They quote irreconcilable differences as they begin to spew the most hate-filled words towards their spouse on their way to separation. At that point, some well-meaning friend will chalk it up in some form to this concept that familiarity has given birth to contempt.
The thought behind this theory is that they got to know each other TOO much. Because they became too familiar, they began to hate instead of appreciate. They actually found all of the blemishes their mate had causing them to be no longer loveable. Each person also lost that mystery that encouraged exploration of the other. That sense of awe that caused each to yearn for time together turned into a sense of dread at the thought of spending any time together. Any habit that was cool and quirky while they dated in small doses has become annoying and torturous after experienced day in and day out. Because actions have become commonplace, they are taken for granted and no longer extraordinary.
Thus, before turning to anger, familiarity actually first breeds forgetting. Therein lays the bigger issue. It is not the anger or the contempt alone that causes broken relationships but the forgotten uniqueness of a special relationship. The anger is a cry for attention, saying, “Stop forgetting me! I’m (still) important.” The more something becomes familiar, more at risk it is for becoming overlooked. So two forces are constantly at work in opposite directions. We are in a relationship with someone, which is by its very nature, supposed to be unique always, while time is concurrently striping away the enjoyed exceptionality of the relationship.
Oh is this ever true in the church! The longer we know our one-of-a-kind matchless Savior, Jesus Christ, the more forgotten He is in our lives. The amazing God of the universe no longer seems that amazing as he once did when we first met Him. It is no wonder we start to question if God is there the longer we follow Christ. Often, we see people walk away from God after seeing an unmet expectation of a God who has “lost” his power. Or just as sad, we see older Christians living off fumes of the initial excitement of salvation that leaves them beaten down, lifeless Christians. Many who have been around the church will agree that this is their biggest struggle during a prayer time (or a moment of honesty).
So what is the solution? Is it a new program? A different Bible? Cooler Music? Or something else? In Paul’s letter to the Romans, he deals with the solution in a clear, concise way that can give us hope that God can be more exciting now than when we first believe. The newness of knowing God doesn’t have to wear off over time, in fact, it can grow stronger. While we have struggles, there is something that will sustain us and give us victory. In fact, for a Christian, familiarity will not breed contempt but contentment.
What is this miracle cure? The Gospel. From January to July, we are going to look at the Book of Romans to not only familiarize ourselves with “the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes” but open our eyes again to what it actually does for us. It will outline for us what is the Good News of Jesus Christ and how it is able to truly save us. My prayer is no matter where you are in your relationship with Jesus, you will be reintroduced to the awesomeness of the God in whom we say we believe.